The Joy Retreat Barbados is the worlds first retreat created by and for Black people entering, experiencing or emerging through Menopause.
May 2023 saw the inaugural retreat take place. What follows are a selection of the photos taken mostly by our attendee and boss photographer Rebecca Orleans and words from the wonderful Joy Seekers who took a leap of faith and joined us.
We came back in May. July begins tomorrow. I spent a few weeks trying to process what has happened. Yet it’s taken me months to sit down and put a blog post together. It almost feels like my words can’t describe it adequately.
The Retreat took over a year to come together. Actually nearer eighteen months to be honest. And for many months before it had been a tiny niggling idea in my head. A talk with Jessica Huie, author of Purpose, brought the words I’d been reticent to form, tumbling from my brain and out of my mouth. I wanted to host a retreat for Black people in any stage of menopause in the country my parents were raised in.
Barbados. Where many of my ancestors are laid to rest.
I wanted to share the vast knowledge that helped me navigate my own menopause journey with people who looked like me and had a similar cultural experience. I wanted to create a safe space for them, for us, to rest, exhale and be. No mask wearing, no code switching, no ‘micro’ aggression second guessing.
Freedom.
Rest, movement, silence and journalling became key. Every part of the program was optional and subsequently most attended every session (go figure!). Rest was prioritised.
We shared, we laughed we cried and we journeyed together. Or conversations were nourishing and affirming. At times lively and always life-giving. I don’t think any one present truly knew how the sessions would speak to them, including me. I asked for people to arrive with an open heart and mind. Alchemy ensued.
I feel eternally grateful to every member of the group who put their trust in this adventure and chose to put themselves first. I will never take this lightly.
If you’re reading this and you don’t understand why this retreat is necessary I don’t know what to say to you other than that this isn’t for you. There are spaces for mixed cultures and there are spaces specifically for cultures away from the white gaze. I won’t explain and I won’t apologise.
Testimonials:
“Being in a place where we are the majority and the ease with which we moved, within ourselves, and around the hotel and island and how natural it was, was everything”.
“The JOY, OMG, the JOY!!! I love us and how we laughed with mouths wide open, heads tilted back and the occasional slap for emphasis. And oh how we celebrated each other for the extraordinary beings we are. These days will live in my heart forever”.
“It took me a day or 2 to recognise why I was feeling lighter, then it hit me ... I wasn't 'on' 24/7 - no code switching, masking, policing what I say and how I say it, how I look, how I wear my hair and clothes, how loud I laugh ...”
“…seeing that women can stay vibrant and beautiful and sexy and creative and compassionate was very helpful for me. Thank you!!”
“I definitely feel more aware of the need to be kind to myself and of how menopause is changing me. I am navigating and stepping into those changes with more confidence and enjoyment but also remembering to rest".
“The Joy Retreat has reminded me to embrace menopause and my older age as a new adventure”.
“Being able to talk openly to other BLACK women going through the menopause and other transitions in their lives felt incredibly special. It was a really privileged space to be in and feel a part of”.
“I truly felt it was home from home, I felt so relaxed. I love that we were the only residents which contributed to the safe space. The location, the sound of the Atlantic, our rooms, our Joy Retreat space was perfect”
“I realised how nourishing it is to be with like minded Black women and to be with, in the majority, Black people. It allowed me to embrace my Blackness in a way that I haven't before”.
“I've always been proud to be Black, always felt that being Black is a gift. The Joy Retreat gave me permission to luxuriate in that feeling rather than having to defend it or justify my existence”.
“Although we were brought together through our menopause journeys, I felt the Joy retreat transcends the menopause.
I may be wrong, but the Black girl magic came from Karen bringing 10 complete strangers together, granted, all at a similar stage in our lives,(menopause) but what has come from it, is life changing”.
“I want to be fearless, joyful, and trusting again. Those are my daily affirmations now.
The joy retreat gave me hope again”.
“The Joy Retreat provided a safe space that left me:
Feeling heard
Feeling listened to
Feeling valued
Feeling loved and the confidence that reminds me that I deserve all that and most importantly MUST do the same for myself, first and foremost!”
I hope this Blog has given you a taste of our magical time together on The Joy Retreat Barbados.
In 2024 we will do it all again.
There are ten spaces. Monday 29th April until Monday 6th May.
Are you ready to choose yourself?